Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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