you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize