Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
