no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
