It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
