I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize