Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I smell stomach acid.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
