k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
