I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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