a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
