I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
