Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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