Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize