he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
