Im at strip club and am horny
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
