Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
