look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
