the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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