Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dear god my vagina.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
