So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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