I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They have beer where we have blood.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
