i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
