Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
