Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize