dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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