using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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