Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
