But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize