you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
