You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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