I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
