I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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