loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
