Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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