So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize