you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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