trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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