If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
