I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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