My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
