I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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