I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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