how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
