Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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