I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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