what if every blade of grass was a penis?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
