:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
