so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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