I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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