You're so nebulous sometimes
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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