Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
