Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize