Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
