it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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