Moan for me like Helen Keller
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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