my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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