I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
