This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
