I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
