I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
one two three fourrrrnication!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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