how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
