laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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