yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was born a porn star she said
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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