sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
