ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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