even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize