careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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