I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drunk is not a location!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
