dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
