he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
