So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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