I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
